Connecting, Not Correcting

Let’s face it, we all have bad days. When dealing with frustration or anger, it can be hard to handle emotions rationally. Young people sometimes have a hard time expressing their feelings in a safe and controlled way. Clinical psychologist, Dr. Becky Kennedy, believes that whenever kids are having a hard time, it’s important to connect with them instead of immediately correcting them. Dr. Kennedy suggests that in order to use this method effectively, you must have the mindset that children are inherently “good inside” - meaning that they want to do the right thing. 

Therefore, after attaining the right mindset, choose to connect with children when seeing them act inappropriately as a response to their emotions. Tell them you understand that they are having a hard time, and that you are going to help them figure things out. Dr. Kennedy believes that disciplining and yelling at a child will only increase their feelings of shame. So the next time there’s a bump in the road, try connecting before correcting.

To find out more about the “Connecting, Not Correcting” approach, check out the article and podcast by NPR featuring Dr. Kennedy. If you want to learn even more, watch her discuss this method on Good Morning America.